Many people in the world have had to grieve sometime or another. People grieve over all sorts of things. Grief happens. One thing that most people do not realize is that when a relationship ends and it was a deep connection, you will more than likely to go through several if not all the stages of grief. The relationship I have been in has recently ended. I was hurting so badly and it wouldn’t go away. So I looked up “how to move on” and I ran into the stages of grieving over a lost relationship. Just the web page I needed. So I am going to go over this simply to help people who are struggling with the loss of a relationship.
Number one is denial. Some people know right away and they move quickly through the other four stages. It is normal to be in denial. It is like you are in shock. Personally it took me two weeks to leave this stage. Once you are out of denial, you are ready to start the real grieving.
The second stage of grieving is anger. This is a really good stage, because it sets your endorphins off. You seem to be thinking through everything. Every conversation, text message, and phone call. Some people do not get angry at all. Some stay in this stage for awhile. Some do not even go through this stage. Personally, I stood in my room one day, pacing, talking to myself. I was so angry…..but then I had screamed, ranted and raved till I was hoarse and worn out. It was a healthy thing to do because I was able to say all the things I had always wanted to say but never did.
The third stage is bargaining. This stage is best friends with denial. You are so busy saying to yourself it is not true that you start bargaining with God, the universe, almost anything. This is sad stage. I was so desperate, that I made bargains with every God out there. Then I waited and waited, but he did not come back. It is hard to move out of this stage.
Once you have gone through denial and bargaining you go straight for the fourth and scariest stage of all: Depression. This stage can go on for a very short or long period of time. It depends on the person. Personally this was worst part of it all. I laid in bed, not wanting to be bothered. I cried for weeks. Even though I am moving to the last stage, it is slow going.
Of course the final stage is acceptance. This is the stage where you make peace with the situation. I am trying really hard to get to this stage, but I can not let go of that little glimmer of hope. So I have a ways to go.
Break-ups are hard. Going out and getting a rebound relationship will not help you, it will only set you back. Take some time for yourself. Do not rush the process of healing. Above all, remember to love yourself. Use positive affirmations everyday. You are special and you deserve happiness and love.
I wish you all the best if you have to take this journey. As always read, comment, and share.